This past week, I had conflict with a colleague from an outside agency and I believe that one of the reasons it is draining me so much is because the conflict felt like the final straw for me with this person and so when I am usually trying diligently to "fix the problem" in most cases, I am not feeling the motivation to resolve the conflict this time. However, I realize that if I do not resolve it, one of us is going to have to leave our job or there will be tension whenever I am communicating with this person. I realize that the 3R's are not achieving communication harmony with this person because this person uses strategies to get what she wants and not create a stronger, meaningful relationship with me (The Center, n.d.). I really am at a loss as what to do with this colleague and the conflict we are having but I am willing to continue to "request what I need from her clearly and specifically" (The Center, n.d.) in order to preserve our working relationship. I am hoping that after my week of reflection, I will be able to overcome my feelings of judgment and criticism of this colleague and continue to work to repair our working relationship (The Center, n.d.).
The other important realization that I came to this week is that this particular conflict I encountered affected the rest of my life and filtered into my family life. It was difficult to communicate with my husband at the end of the week when he had a bad day because I was still in my own little world with this conflict.
I always say that life is too short to dwell on things and to make the best of each moment you are given. I was able to put aside my conflict issues to listen to my husband and his conflict issues for the week. I hope I am back to making progress with my communication skills!
References
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for
nonviolent communication.
Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
Nicolette,
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how one conflict in our professional life can spiral out of control into our personal lives? I know how that works and believe me, it is not a good feeling for either parties. Compromising can prove to be more challenging when there are numerous conflicts and I am sorry that you are experiencing this. According to O'Hair & Weimann (2012), how we need to give up some in order to get little or something else in return. I can say easier said than done! but we have to come to some sort of agreement to make it a win win situation for everyone. Thanks for sharing with us this week's post.
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Thank you for your kind words and comments Charlotte! You are right on when you say it spirals into everything else and that is what makes it so hard to come out of the conflict sometimes.
ReplyDeleteNicolette
What if I told you that I could create something for you that will help with your communication and give you strength of will power with courage! I am only asking because I am noticing a pattern with you and what is going on with work...not only do you need a vacation, you need a break to breathe. You remind me of someone that is an air sign...or a cancer. But that's another discussion...I did like how you put your situation and used it for practice...it seems that this class will do you really good in the future. All I can say is keep up the good work Nicolette...YOU CAN DO IT!...
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