I asked my husband to be one of the people to evaluate me as a communicator. One reason is because he is very close to me and thought he would know me pretty well. Another reason is because he is the person I have been with for 19 years and plan on being with for a long time and wanted to know how he viewed me as a communicator in order for me to also assess my communication skills with him.
I was kind of surprised to learn that he scored me similar to what I scored myself and/or close to what I scored myself. When we looked at the results together and I showed him what the results meant, he indicated that he was not surprised that I scored low to mild for the Communication Anxiety Inventory, moderate for Verbal Aggressiveness and people-oriented for Listening Styles. My results indicated that I might be uneasy sometimes communicating but overall I am confident in most situations communicating with others (Rubin, R., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H., (Eds.), 2009). My results also indicated that I tend to zero in on the person and how they are feeling before stating my argument and/or viewpoint (Rubin, R., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H., (Eds.), 2009).
When reflecting on the results of the Listening Style, the results indicated that I am people-oriented and empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others I felt validated that I am indeed a "people person" and this style of listening allows me to build relationships (Rubin, R., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H., (Eds.), 2009). However, the information for this listening style indicated to me that I need to be cautioned that because I am so trusting of others, my judgment can become clouded (Rubin, R., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H., (Eds.), 2009).
The fact that I feel comfortable communicating in most situations provides me with confidence that I can face conversations well with families and colleagues. The fact that I am rated as a good listener and build relationships empowers me to build those strong relationships with families, children and colleagues in order to be an effective educator (Rubin, R., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H., (Eds.), 2009). I have noticed how I can be very trusting can sometimes get in the way of my judgment of other people because I so badly want to do as much as I can to help so that is something I will keep an eye on to make sure I am making informed decisions.
References
Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research
measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.
Nicolette,
ReplyDeleteIt was like reading my own post aobut the evaluations we did about ourselves and other significant persons in our lives that rated us on how we communicate across 'the board' to them. I also ranged in people oriented which I feel is important considering that we work with families and the communities of early childhood. Trust issues I also have and that part I can say that I always use my best judgment call. Enjoyed reading your insights.
Thank you for your comments Charlotte! Thank you for your insights on the trust issue.
DeleteNicolette
Great post. At the end you stated that being trusting of others can affect your judgment of others. Through my schema's I have become very untrusting of people and therefore it affects my judgment of people by being very cautious at believing things that I hear. I want to believe people and what they say but I've come in contact recently with many people who constantly lie about stuff which makes it hard for me to believe things that people say.
ReplyDeleteShanda,
DeleteThank you for your insight on the trust issue going the opposite way. That is an interesting point that you brought up of how not being able to trust someone can affect your communication.
Nicolette
Nicolette,
ReplyDeleteYou must have had very similar scores to mine. Your descriptions sound very familiar. I have known for a long time that I am too trusting of people and should probably take steps to be more protective of myself but that is not who I am, and apparently who you are not either. I feel the results you share are those most teachers possess. If we didn't, we couldn't relate to the children and families we work with every day in a comfortable manner. Thanks for sharing your results.
Laurie
Hey there Nicolette,
ReplyDeleteI am going to be straight honest with you...I never liked aptitude tests or measurement test of intelligence because I think they are bias and stupid. You communicate the way you communicate...there are too many missing variables to a person when they are being judged or tested if you ask me...
You may not be a good communicator because that may not be one of your strongest planets in your make cosmic make up. Mercury is the planet for communications and sometimes that planet can cause a person to be shy, or outspoken, or in between. We don't know unless we study these types of sciences. The fact is that you being a trusting person has nothing to do with it...it's in your nature to be trusting you have a lot of Venus within you. But others should be warned not to temp nor upset that part of you because it can be very harsh.
I always tell my students that no matter who you are know who you are and no one can tell you different or change what your DNA build for it's own purposes. So my advice to you is keep pushing forward and practice makes you better...Know who you are and who you are not...that will make you even more of a powerful medicine woman with children and adults...
Great post...