Childhood Stressors

 

I have a dear friend who was physically, verbally and mentally abused by his father while he was growing up.  His father also abused his mother.  My friend grew up with two younger sisters but they were never abused by his father.  My friend attributed the reason for the abuse was because he was always sick as a young child and his father had difficulty accepting him.  My friend also attributes the abuse to alcohol use, job stress and that his father was abused by his own father when he was growing up.  My friend didn't really have any resources growing up except his mother but it was difficult for her to fight back since she was getting abused as well.  Although my friend's father stopped drinking and job stress seemed to go down, his father would continually tell him that he was never good enough; grades were never good enough, moving to a place that wasn't good enough and his jobs he obtained were never good enough.  This continual abuse put alot of stress on my friend and still continues today because although his relationship with his father has improved and the physical abuse is not continuing, the verbal and mental abuse continues.  My friend has never sought counseling for the abuse he endured as a child and young adult and I see how it consumes his life when he is trying to deal with daily job stress and his own relationships and family life.  Although he has vowed to "not be like his father in the abusive ways", he does not always have a strong self-worth and feels that other people's downfalls are his fault.  I have noticed that my friend's experiences have impeded his abilities to enjoy his life and be happy. 

 

Stress in Syria

 

The war and poverty in Syria have taken their toll on the children.  It was reported by the UN in June of 2012 that children were being used as human shields during the fighting in Syria.  Children in Syria are not only living with war but displacement from their homes and schools.  UNICEF reported that they were collecting and sending winter clothes, blankets and food to families in Syria because the families in peril were only able to leave with summer clothing.  The temperatures are falling and families in Syria affected by the conflict are not ready for the cold.  So not only are the children dealing with the stress of war but also with poverty and hunger.

 

Jamie Dettmer is an independent foreign correspondent. He has been a staff journalist for The Times of London, Sunday Telegraph, Scotland on Sunday, and Irish Sunday Tribune and was recently the comment editor of The Hill.  He reported on his article, "Syria's Children of the Rubble" dated November 24, 2012:

 

I was talking with a rebel fighter the other day who told me how he and his 9-year-old son returned home after a bombing, and how they had to collect the body parts of the boy’s mother and sister into three plastic bags,” says Mohamed Khalil, a psychiatrist and director of the U.K.-based Arab Foundation for Care of Victims of War. “Skin and flesh were apparently plastered all over. The little boy said later, ‘I want to play with my mother and sister.’ He didn't fully appreciate they were dead. (Dettmer, 2012). 

 

Michael Wessells is an author of a book called Child Soldiers: From Violence to Protection that talks about how children who are exposed to war in their country end up becoming soldiers themselves because of promise of food and a better life when in turn it becomes a traumatizing and even fatal experience for these children.  Wessells also goes on to say:

 

Children who have been brutalized will reproduce the violence they experience—not because they are “bad” but because violence has saturated their environment. (Wessells, 2009).

 

The one story I read from Dettmer's article and the statement made by Wessells came off as very powerful and moving to me.  It is unfortunate for any child to endure abusive and neglectful conditions and any kind of stressors but even more unfortunate when children are in the midst of war and then thrust into it as a means of survival.

 



 

About UNICEF: UNICEF works in 190 countries and territories to help children survive and thrive, from early childhood through adolescence. The world’s largest provider of vaccines for developing countries, UNICEF supports child health and nutrition, good water and sanitation, quality basic education for all boys and girls, and the protection of children from violence, exploitation, and AIDS. UNICEF is funded entirely by the voluntary contributions of individuals, businesses, foundations and governments. For more information about UNICEF and its work visit: www.unicef.org

 

Dettmer, J. (2012).  Syria's Children of the Rubble.  The Daily Beast.

 

Retrieved from www.unicef.org

Wessells, M. (2009). Child Soldiers: From Violence to Protection. Harvard University Press.



To breastfeed or not to breastfeed; that is a loaded question!

 

I know how I felt when I started having children and feeling the pressure to breastfeed or not.  When my husband and I first talked about having children, he asked me if I was going to breastfeed or not.  My first response was no because it would hurt and I really didn't know that much about it.  My mother did not breastfeed and at the time, I did not know alot of people that did.  It wasn't until a friend of mine had her baby and breastfed him that I was able to understand the benefits and beauty of breastfeeding. 

 

Women have been breastfeeding ever since the beginning of time.  So why aren't all women breastfeeding?  Although my mother did not breastfeed her own children, she was very excited for me to breastfeed and became my number one cheerleader!  She was willing to read along with me about how wonderful and beneficial breastfeeding can be for the baby and the mother.  I asked her why she didn't breastfeed and she said that it wasn't encouraged very much when she was having babies and there wasn't alot of breastfeeding support and teaching for mothers back then.  My husband's mother never breastfed either and she was very skeptical when we wanted to breastfeed our children.  She had mentioned that her mother tried to breastfeed and one of her children almost starved because not enough milk was being produced.  So for my mother-in-law's family, everyone had given up on breastfeeding because of lack of support for her mother and misinformation.  Of course that made me want to breastfeed more.  So I did read up on it so that I would be better prepared before my child came.  I realized it was a hands on experience so I made sure I bought a pump ahead of time to know how to use it in case I needed it.  My friend that I mentioned above was also very supportive and was able to give me some tips and pointers. 

 

So why did I choose to breastfeed?  After talking to my doctor and reading, I discovered that breastmilk would provide the best nourishment for my baby because breastmilk provides more nutrients than formula and breast milk is easier for infants to digest.  "Breastfed babies have a decreased likelihood for allergies" (La Leche League, 2006 & WebMD, nd.). "They also benefit from appropriate jaw, teeth and speech development as well as overall facial development." (La Leche League, 2006).  Babies who are breasfed for at least the first six months experience less illness and fewer trips to the doctor (WebMD, n.d.).  Breastfeeding mothers are at lower risk for ovarian and breast cancer  (La Leche League, 2006).  Breastfeeding mothers also save time at feedings because they do not need to prepare formula and get a bottle ready.  The baby's milk is with the mother at all times and she can breastfeed any time the baby needs it. 

 

Some breastfeeding facts from around the world



"Seventy-one percent of Namibian babies are breastfed at birth. Exclusive breastfeeding in an infant’s first month of life has increased from just under 30% in 1992 to over 50% in 2007 but begins to taper off by four to five months. Of those who breastfeed, 65% continue to breastfeed their children at 12 to 15 months of age" (Childinfo, 2012).

 

"Although breastfeeding is promoted by the Catholic church in Italy, bottle culture made a significant impact in the 1970s and became fairly entrenched. Although hospitals and pediatricians support breastfeeding in theory, the majority of hospitals use pacifiers, glucose and formula (and are sponsored by formula companies), instead of coaching the mother when breastfeeding difficulties arise. La Leche League reported that 85% of infants are breastfed at birth, while only 19% are breastfed at four to six months" (La Leche League, 2012).

"It is common to see mothers breastfeeding without shame or protests from passerby in Peru, even when breasts are exposed, as breastfeeding is considered normal and natural. Ninety-seven percent of Peruvian infants are breastfed at birth and 69% are breastfed exclusively from birth to five months. Out of these 69%, almost all (95%) breastfeed for an average of 20 months. Although Peru was one of the first countries to sign the WHO restrictions on marketing of breastmilk substitutes, globalization, formula advertising and images of bottle-feeding in U.S. sitcoms have caused a decrease in exclusive breastfeeding practices" (La Leche League, 2012 and Childinfo, 2012).

 

I will be the first to admit that breastfeeding is hard work and may not be for every woman and it is a personal choice that the mother needs to make for her and her baby. If the mother is not comfortable breastfeeding, that will cause undue stress to mother and baby which can lead to future troubles.  The mother has to take into consideration any medications that she is taking and how that may affect her breastmilk. People in certain societies do not see breastfeeding as natural so it is important for the breastfeeding mother to have some support systems in place, especially if she experiences any difficulties along the way.  Support systems such as friends, family and hospital staff provided me the confidence to breastfeed my other three babies.  I also became the breastfeeding poster child for my husband's family and my husband's cousins and sister breastfed because they saw me as a model with my own babies.

 

I would never make a mother feel bad for not breastfeeding her child but I would at least encourage her to try. I know for me, I really enjoyed that skin to skin contact breastfeeding relaxed me which allowed me to be less stressed with my babies.  I would hope that I could continue to be a support for new mothers based on my knowledge and experience with breastfeeding so that they can make an informed decision on how to feed their baby and have a positive breastfeeding experience if they choose to breastfeed.

 

Listed below are websites where I retrieved information.  I hope you will find them to be useful resources for yourself others that you may encounter needing more information on breastfeeding.

http://www.childinfo.org/

 

http://www.incultureparent.com/2012/03/breastfeeding-around-the-world#slideshow

 

http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb.html

 

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/breastfeeding-9/nursing-basics

 



 

 



Birthing Experiences in Greece

 

          Because of my ancestoral ties to Greece, I was curious to read about birthing experiences and was quite disappointed but maybe not very surprised by what I found out.  According to an article in Penn Bioethics Journal, the author of the article, Julie Nusbaum, chose to research Childbirth in Modern Athens: The Transition from Homebirth to Hospital Birth.  She interviewed women who went through childbirth as well as midwives and an OBGYN.  It was interesting for me to learn that Greece discourages home births and promotes more hospital births for two reasons: 1.  The doctors in Greece see pregnancy as purely medical and that something can go wrong so they want to be prepared and 2.  Home births are seen to others in the community as the "poor way" to have a baby  as opposed to hospital births being the choice of the "rich." It was also discovered in Nusbaum's research that just until recently in the past few years, it was common for women going through childbirth in hospitals were forced to be shaved in the childbirth area, not allowed to move around and given drugs primarily if the doctor deemed but not necessarily consenting the mother.  More women who are pregnant in Greece are wanting home births due to these factors and also that the doctors are not talking and/or listening to them through the process.  It was even reported that there are more cesarean births in Greece because doctors will do them purely because they get "bored" waiting for the mother to push the baby out.

 

 

I encourage you to read the full article at http://www.bioethicsjournal.com/v2i2/nusbaum.html

 

 

 

 



My Athena Birthing Experience

 

           I have given birth to four beautiful children so when asked to give one example of a childbirth experience was difficult.  However, I chose to tell about when my second child, Athena, was born because she was one of my children that really knew when it was time to be born.  When I was pregnant with Athena, I had a great OBGYN which was not the case with my first child.  And having a great doctor makes a huge amount of difference!  When he told me my due date for Athena, he told me October 31, 1999.  I told him there was no way I was going into the hospital on Halloween- Halloween is usually a busy night for people doing not so intellingent things and ending up in the hospital.  Of course, he thought this was funny and I was ok with it because he had a good sense of humor.  He liked to tease me that I was going to have a baby on Halloween but I usually came back telling him that it wasn't going to happen.  About a month before Athena was due, I started experiencing a great deal of shoulder pain in my left shoulder and couldn't shake it.  About a couple of weeks before her due date, my doctor was concerned that the shoulder pain might impede my efforts to push so he suggested a cortizone shot.  He explained any risks but was confident that it would help with the pain and me being able to push at childbirth.  So I went ahead with it.  About a week before the due date, he checked the weight of Athena and noticed Athena's weight was already at 8 lbs and again became concerned.  He told me that if I didn't go into labor by October 26, come into the hospital that evening and I would get induced the next morning.  Of course, I did the "I told you so" about Athena being born on Halloween.  Sure enough, my husband was driving me to the hospital that evening on the 26th. My mom met us at the hospital to pick up my oldest daughter who was almost 3 and my sister met us at the hospital to help keep me company.  My sister had been with me for the birth of my first child and I was looking forward to having her with me again. I was in a warm, home like birthing room in a bed that could be upright if I wanted.  I was encouraged to walk around, stand up, sit up, or lay over the huge pilates ball if I wanted.  This was very different from my first child because I was not allowed to get up once they put all of the needles and machinery on me and I do think it made a huge difference in my second child's birth.  Since I wasn't getting induced the next morning, I was just expected to relax and not worry about anything until the next morning.  Well apparently, that is not what Athena had in mind.  She was ready to come out that evening/early morning.  My husband, sister and I were playing cards and around 10:00 pm, I started getting contractions that were about 5 minutes apart.  We called the nurse and she called my doctor; he had just left the hospital to go home.  The nurse called for the anethesiologist to give me an epidural.  My husband and sister had to leave the room for the epidural so it was just the nurse and I and she was awesome!  And that makes a huge difference as well!  As I was sitting up waiting for the epidural, I told the nurse that they needed to hurry because the baby is coming.  She quickly relayed the message to the anethesiologist and intern learning how to give an epidural.  The nurse laid me down and called my husband and sister back in.  My contractions were now coming every minute and I was having trouble breathing in between so the doctor on called ordered an oxygen mask for me.  My doctor called me from his car and said "What the heck are you doing, I thought we were having the baby tomorrow."  Of course I had to laugh and he got there in time to deliver Athena.  I only had to push 3 times and Athena was born.  The nurse put her in a bassinet on the other side of the room and I could hear her sucking reflexes from across the room.  Needless to say, she was my baracuda breastfeeder:)!  And needless to say, Athena is very strong minded to this day and knows what she wants to do:)!