The Great Communicator

I asked my husband to be one of the people to evaluate me as a communicator.  One reason is because he is very close to me and thought he would know me pretty well.  Another reason is because he is the person I have been with for 19 years and plan on being with for a long time and wanted to know how he viewed me as a communicator in order for me to also assess my communication skills with him.

I was kind of surprised to learn that he scored me similar to what I scored myself and/or close to what I scored myself.  When we looked at the results together and I showed him what the results meant, he indicated that he was not surprised that I scored low to mild for the Communication Anxiety Inventory, moderate for Verbal Aggressiveness and people-oriented for Listening Styles.  My results indicated that I might be uneasy sometimes communicating but overall I am confident in most situations communicating with others (Rubin, R., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H., (Eds.), 2009). My results also indicated that I tend to zero in on the person and how they are feeling before stating my argument and/or viewpoint (Rubin, R., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H., (Eds.), 2009).

When reflecting on the results of the Listening Style, the results indicated that I am people-oriented and empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others I felt validated that I am indeed a "people person" and this style of listening allows me to build relationships (Rubin, R., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H., (Eds.), 2009).  However, the information for this listening style indicated to me that I need to be cautioned that because I am so trusting of others, my judgment can become clouded (Rubin, R., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H., (Eds.), 2009). 

The fact that I feel comfortable communicating in most situations provides me with confidence that I can face conversations well with families and colleagues.  The fact that I am rated as a good listener and build relationships empowers me to build those strong relationships with families, children and colleagues in order to be an effective educator (Rubin, R., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H., (Eds.), 2009).  I have noticed how I can be very trusting can sometimes get in the way of my judgment of other people because I so badly want to do as much as I can to help so that is something I will keep an eye on to make sure I am making informed decisions.

References

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research

       measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Communicating Effectively in a Culturally Diverse World

I often find that I am excited to meet someone from a different culture where language and beliefs are different from my own but sometimes feel intimidated that I might not be able to effectively communicate that person for fear of offending or not understanding their conversation.  I found this YouTube video by speakfirst in which the speaker, Sneha Khilay, offers four strategies to effectively communicate with people of different cultures :

1.  Observe the other's person's behaviors (YouTube, 2009).
2.  Appreciate the other person's differences (YouTube, 2009).
3.  Do not make assumptions about the other person (YouTube, 2009).
4.  Be patient when talking with the other person (YouTube, 2009).

I appreciate that Sneha gave concrete examples for each strategy to help illustrate the importance of each strategy as well as how to use each strategy (YouTube, 2009).  I also appreciate that Sneha mentions that cultural diversity encompasses more than language and beliefs but also gender, attitude, and attitude differences (YouTube, 2009).

I hope you enjoyed watching the video and find the information useful and helpful.

References

YouTube. (2009).  Cultural Diversity:  Tips for communicating with cultural awareness.  Retrieved

from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDvLk7e2Irc

Assumptions About Communication

This week, I was given the opportunity to view a television show that I have never seen before and then make observations about the show first with the sound off and then a second time with the sound on.  Thank goodness we have On Demand to watch shows that have already aired because it has been years since I recorded a show.

 

The show I chose was called "Melissa and Joey" and I just picked it randomly so I had no idea what it was about and also if it was a comedy, mystery, etc.  In fact, I thought the show was going to be some kind of drama because of the commercials of preview shows I had to watch before the show started.  Much to my pleasant surprise, "Melissa and Joey" is a situational comedy.

SOUND OFF

 

As I watched the show with the sound off, I made assumptions based on my observations.  One observation at the beginning of the show was that there was a teenage boy talking to Joey and it appeared to me that Joey was the boy's father because it looked like Joey was looking at the boy's homework and talking to him while showing him something on the homework.  I also assumed that the woman kissing Joey was his girlfriend.  There was also a woman who I assumed was interviewing for a job with Joey because she was sitting and talking with him in what appeared to be an area that looks like an office.  I noticed that there were two teenage couples and it appeared that they lived at the house.

 

I noticed that when Melissa talked and/or communicated, she used big hand motions but seemed calm and wanted to work out conflict.  She also seemed more relaxed and her body seemed to flow through a room while she moved.  Joey, on the other hand, seemed to have faster hand and body movements and more exaggerated facial expressions. 

 

SOUND ON

 

When I watched the show with the sound on, I discovered that the teenage boy talking to Joey at the beginning of the show was a student that Joey tutored.  I also found out that Joey had a tutoring business out of the garage of Melissa's house.  The other teenagers that appeared in the house were Melissa's niece and nephew that lived with her and their teenage boyfriend/girlfriend that came over to visit.  I was actually right about the woman who I thought was Joey's girlfriend but her son was also getting tutored by Joey.  The woman that I thought was interviewing for a job for a Joey was actually a parent wanting to sign her children up for tutoring. 

As far as body language, Melissa is not as calm but kind of all over the place when she talks and although she does want to resolve conflicts, seems flustered when trying to do so. I realized that Joey is not as scary when the sound is on.  His quick and direct movements actually showed me how confident he was in his speaking and handling issues.  Out of the two characters, Melissa is more optimistic where Joey tends to be more pessimistic but also realistic.

 

HOW DID I DO?

 

As you can see, most of my interpretations/assumptions were incorrect when the sound was off.  I also found out a lot more information when the sound was on and I do believe that I would have had even more information if this was a show I regularly watch because based on my experiences of watching "favorite" shows that I like to watch, I know the premise and the characters of the show and how the characters and plots are developing.  I believe this is why people have their "favorites" because they become attached to certain things about shows. 

I really enjoyed going through this experience because the experience enlightened me to how much we miss when maybe we cannot talk to someone and/or listen to someone verbally.  I would like to challenge myself to try watching a show blindfolded only able to hear the sound.  Now that would be interesting to see how much information I gain because although I would be able to hear the conversations, I would miss out on the body language. Kind of makes you think how people who are visually and hearing impaired also miss out on a lot of communication and how we might have to adapt our communication styles.

 
References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: 

      Bedford/St. Martin's.

A Great Communicator

I have a friend who started out as a co-worker.  Her and I taught in an autism camp held for four summers where my children went to school.  Although I do not have the opportunity to work with her anymore, we still get together often.  She definitely knows her field and has excellent communication and organization skills which come in handy, especially when working with autistic students.

I notice that any time I am having a conversation with her, she displays the following communication skills each and every time whether we are talking about work, family or social situations:

*direct eye contact with her speaker
*listens intently to other people
*responds only after other people are finished speaking
*responds in a thoughtful manner to people's concerns and/or questions
*responds calmly when addressing concerns and/or questions
*maintains strong body posture throughout the conversation

Why do I believe these are important attributes for effective communication?  Presence and body language alone can say a lot about a person, their confidence level and communication skills.  I also find myself intently listening to what she has to say because she exhibits strong confidence in herself as a communicator and educator.

I continue to strive to communicate as well as my friend Sara not only because she exhibits excellent listening, communicating and problem solving skills but because she believes these are important skills for children to learn. 

I find myself fine tuning my communication skills because of the interactions and relationship I have established with Sara.  I only hope that I can one day become as confident as she is with communicating with anyone.

I found a short video depicting effective communication. It is kind of funny but makes some good points!  Enjoy!

Resources

O'Hair, D. & Weimann, M.  (2012).  Real communication: an introduction.  New York:  Bedford/St.

     Martin's.

YouTube. (2011).  A guide to effective communication.  Retrieved from

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwjAAgGi-90