Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

This week, I observed a vivid microaggression between a co-worker and a parent during school registration.  I was at a table for preschool parents.  Here is how it went:
        *The co-worker was sitting at one of the tables that parents stop at to get information for registration. The parent approached the table indicating the name of her child to the secretary.  The secretary accidentally mispronounced the parent's child's name and this seemed to frustrate the parent and she continued to the next staff member who then asked the parent to fill out a Language Survey that we are required to ask all parents to fill out.  The parent read over the survey and refused to fill it out saying "You're not going to put my child in special classes just because she doesn't speak English."  Another co-worker tried to explain to the parent that this is a survey that we ask all parents to fill out and that it does not determine whether her child is placed in special classes. The parent walked into the media center to fill out her paperwork and was talking in Spanish as she walked. 
         *The second co-worker that gave the parent the Language Survey turned to me and said "Is she speaking Spanish?  Is she talking about me in Spanish?  I will send her back to her own neighborhood if I find out she is talking about me."  I urged my co-worker to settle down and reminded her that the parent was still in the building.  My co-worker said "I don't care if she is still in the building."  The principal came up to the table where my co-workers and asked if everything was o.k.  All three co-workers proceeded to tell him that they had just encountered the rudest parent and that she wouldn't fill out the Language Survey and then walked off in a huff speaking in Spanish. 
         *I then proceeded into the media center and said hello to a former preschool parent.  The parent I was speaking to was talking to another parent suggesting she sign up her four year old for my preschool program.  The former preschool parent mentioned how much her sons had enjoyed my classroom and having me for a teacher.  Guess who the parent was that she was talking to?  You guessed it; the parent who had the earlier conversation with the my co-workers at the registration table.  I talked to the woman and asked her if she wanted an application for her child and she responded by saying that she would think about it and let me know.  I thanked her and went back to the preschool table. 
          *As I was leaving the media center, the parent proceeded to talk with my principal.  I asked the former preschool parent if she would like to take the application for her friend and she said she would let her decide because she was not very happy at the moment.  I asked why and she told me "She said when she walked in and came to the registration table, she wasn't treated very well and was going to talk to the principal about it."

This to me was an example of microinsult and microassault as the interaction escalated (Laureate, 2011). As you can see, there were a lot of interactions occurring in just a brief amount of time. 

I felt like this interaction should have never escalated to the level that it did.  It was evident that the parent was frustrated when her child's name was mispronounced and I know the secretary apologized for it.  But then that next person has to continue the respect and be willing to address any further issues such as the Language Survey.  My co-workers were upset the way the parent processed the information about the survey and felt that it was necessary for that survey to be filled out.  There is some truth to that because we are required to have parents fill it out.  However, if that survey was causing so much stress to the parent at the time then it is time to pick your battle.  Is it really worth upsetting a parent in order to get information?  My co-workers could have said something like, "That's alright. I understand that you do not want to fill this out so I will put it aside and here are the rest of the papers you need to fill out for your child.  Please let me know if you have any questions." 

This whole exchange was interesting and bothersome at the same time.  I get it that people can be difficult but if you are in a position where your business is children and families, then sometimes you have to find your happy place and figure out how you can resolve the situation.  I was bothered at how the parent approached my co-workers but I was more bothered by how my one co-worker decided to use racial slurs to talk about this parent while the parent was still in the building.  The incident I experienced this week helped me to realize how valuable relationships with people really are and not just people I know.  It is important to establish relationships with anyone you meet because the reality is you never know when you might encounter those same people again.  And the next time you encounter those people, wouldn't you like to be able to do that knowing you ended on a positive note from the previous encounter?  I know I would.

References

Laureate Education, Inc. (2011).  Microaggessions in Everyday Life.  (Course Media).  Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

The three people I chose to interview about diversity and culture were my husband, my 16 year old daughter and a parent from the Safety Town program that I just finished teaching.  I chose my husband because of his knowledge and background in social studies and interest in other cultures.  I chose my daughter because she is very intelligent and mature for her age and has already expressed a great deal of her views about how people are treated based on their cultures and differences.  I chose the parent from Safety Town because she is of a different culture than I but so are my husband and daughter but I already know them pretty well.  The parent that I interviewed had a wonderful conversation this week about her family's culture and I thought it would be interesting to post her perspective.

My husband, Marc, comes from a family of mostly German, Scottish and English descent and grew up in a rural town of Southeast Iowa. 

*Marc's definition of culture is:  "Characteristics that make a group
  unique" (Personal communication, 2013).
*Marc's definition of diversity is:  "Those characteristics of a people that are
  different within a society" (Personal communication, 2013).

My daughter, Alexandra, comes a family with German, Scottish and English descent from her father's family and Greek and Italian from my family.  She was born in the suburbs of Chicago and grew up in the suburbs until she was in 4th grade and then moved to rural towns in Iowa.

*Alexandra's definition of culture is:  "Beliefs, practices, and traditions that
  define a group of people" (Personal communication, 2013).
*Alexandra's definition of diversity is:  "Differences within a group, i.e., belief
  system, ethnicity, gender, social class, race, sexual orientation, and family
  structure" (Personal communication, 2013).

The parent that I interviewed was Viana Suleiman.  Her oldest daughter was a volunteer teen mentor for the Safety Town Program that I coordinate for 4-6 year olds for two weeks in the summer.  Her youngest daughter came to the Safety Town program.  Viana and her family are from Palestine and moved to the United States 10 years ago.

*Viana's definition of culture is:  "Beliefs and traditions that are passed
   on to you from your own family, country and religion" (Personal communication).
*Viana's definition of diversity is:  "Those characteristics about you that make
   you different from others such as religion, culture beliefs and values, color of
   skin, and family traditions" (Personal communication, 2013).

I found it interesting that these three individuals used words like unique characteristics, group defining, and beliefs and traditions passed on to define culture because these words define the three dimensions of cultural identity:  how the cultural group shapes the way we live (beliefs), how we express our cultural group (group defining, characteristics), and decisions we make to determine which elements we will keep for our own cultural identity (passing on characteristics) (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2008).

An aspect that was omitted from these definitions was the distinction that although people may belong to or identify with a certain group, people might not take on all of the characteristics, beliefs and values of that group (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2008).

When I talked to my husband, he stated that it was easy for him to come up with the definitions because of his background in history and social studies.  My husband actually started the conversation with Viana before I came over to talk to her because he was so interested in her background. 

When I talked to my daughter it was like having an everyday conversation with because her and I have conversations every day about diversity and I found her to be very knowledgeable about the subject for such a young person.  My daughter is often the underdog for those who are oppressed and stands up for everyone being respected regardless of their cultural identity.

The parent, Viana, was very interesting to talk to because she shared a great deal about her culture with my husband and I and was open to any questions we were willing to ask. One story that Viana shared that stuck with me was that as part of her culture that she decided to keep was to wear a head scarf to cover her head.  She has a beautiful, colorful head scarf and she told me that is how her neighbors know who she is: "I'm the lady with the head scarf that lives down the street."  She told me that she tries not to feel offended because she knows her neighbors were not intentionally being mean and she is able to have a sense of humor when people do not understand her culture.  I enjoyed getting to know more about her family in just a short time.

I realized that after talking to three very different people of gender and age and culture, people's perspectives on culture and diversity can be very dependent on their environmental exposure to these topics. Keeping that in mind, it is even more important than ever for early childhood educators to establish positive rapports with the children and families in their care in order to learn more about their cultural identities in order to provide a classroom environment where children and families will feel safe and comfortable to talk about cultures and differences in a non-threatening productive way.  Creating these relationships also empowers children and their families to educate others about their own cultural identity which can lead to many interesting and valuable conversations.

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and

ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

                                        

My Family Culture

I cannot even imagine the devastation of a major catastrophe affecting the infrastructure of my country although I know others in other countries and even others in parts of states of our countries have experienced such a thing.  I would hope that even if we were getting relocated to another place that I would be able to travel with my husband, children, mother, and sister.  My family is important to me and I could not imagine my life without them.

If I was given the opportunity to take three items along with my family, I would choose the following three items:

1.  My Greek Orthodox Bible would be the first item I would take.  My Bible would help me to stay connected to my faith knowing that when I need some encouragement and strength, I could look to my Bible for readings and read daily not knowing if I would encounter an Orthodox church in my new place of relocation.

2.  My Saint Nicholas Icon which represents my Patron Saint.  Saint Nicholas, through his life and death, has performed acts of kindness to all people that he met.  He was especially giving to the poor, young children and prisoners.  As a young child Saint Nicholas was faithful to the church and always helping people in need.  I feel a great connection to Saint Nicholas as a teacher of young children in areas that are the most needy.  Saint Nicholas is known to be the Protector of sailors, Protector of crops, and Patron Saint of all children.  You can read more about Saint Nicholas at http://www.goarch.org/special/nicholas/index_html .

3.  One of our family picture albums because I love looking at pictures of our family and recalling good times and the stories those pictures tell.  I would especially value these pictures if I was unable to see my family or if they were taken away from me suddenly.

 

                                   

 

 

                              



I would be very sad and angry if I was told that I was only allowed to keep one personal item.  However, I would give away the Bible and the Icon in hopes that someone else would find inspiration from them as I have.  I know by giving those items away, I would still have my strong faith in God and that some day those items might come back to me in a different form.

My mother and father, although they divorced early in my life, have always taught me independence, strength and love.  I know that I have passed these qualities on to my children and although we would be in a different country with not a whole lot to take with us, we would find strength in our faith in God and our love for each other to not only survive but also help others around us.  I think that initially we would feel sad and angry about what was happening but I do believe that we would survive in a different culture learning about the culture we are being immersed into because people are people everywhere regardless of their culture.  People everywhere need food, shelter, clothing, love, and understanding.  I would hope that our family would become stronger and find ways to live out our faith with other people.

References
Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America. (2013).  Feast of our Father among the Saints, Nicholas the Wonderworker and Archbishop of Myra.  Retrieved from http://www.goarch.org/special/nicholas/index_html