Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

This week, I observed a vivid microaggression between a co-worker and a parent during school registration.  I was at a table for preschool parents.  Here is how it went:
        *The co-worker was sitting at one of the tables that parents stop at to get information for registration. The parent approached the table indicating the name of her child to the secretary.  The secretary accidentally mispronounced the parent's child's name and this seemed to frustrate the parent and she continued to the next staff member who then asked the parent to fill out a Language Survey that we are required to ask all parents to fill out.  The parent read over the survey and refused to fill it out saying "You're not going to put my child in special classes just because she doesn't speak English."  Another co-worker tried to explain to the parent that this is a survey that we ask all parents to fill out and that it does not determine whether her child is placed in special classes. The parent walked into the media center to fill out her paperwork and was talking in Spanish as she walked. 
         *The second co-worker that gave the parent the Language Survey turned to me and said "Is she speaking Spanish?  Is she talking about me in Spanish?  I will send her back to her own neighborhood if I find out she is talking about me."  I urged my co-worker to settle down and reminded her that the parent was still in the building.  My co-worker said "I don't care if she is still in the building."  The principal came up to the table where my co-workers and asked if everything was o.k.  All three co-workers proceeded to tell him that they had just encountered the rudest parent and that she wouldn't fill out the Language Survey and then walked off in a huff speaking in Spanish. 
         *I then proceeded into the media center and said hello to a former preschool parent.  The parent I was speaking to was talking to another parent suggesting she sign up her four year old for my preschool program.  The former preschool parent mentioned how much her sons had enjoyed my classroom and having me for a teacher.  Guess who the parent was that she was talking to?  You guessed it; the parent who had the earlier conversation with the my co-workers at the registration table.  I talked to the woman and asked her if she wanted an application for her child and she responded by saying that she would think about it and let me know.  I thanked her and went back to the preschool table. 
          *As I was leaving the media center, the parent proceeded to talk with my principal.  I asked the former preschool parent if she would like to take the application for her friend and she said she would let her decide because she was not very happy at the moment.  I asked why and she told me "She said when she walked in and came to the registration table, she wasn't treated very well and was going to talk to the principal about it."

This to me was an example of microinsult and microassault as the interaction escalated (Laureate, 2011). As you can see, there were a lot of interactions occurring in just a brief amount of time. 

I felt like this interaction should have never escalated to the level that it did.  It was evident that the parent was frustrated when her child's name was mispronounced and I know the secretary apologized for it.  But then that next person has to continue the respect and be willing to address any further issues such as the Language Survey.  My co-workers were upset the way the parent processed the information about the survey and felt that it was necessary for that survey to be filled out.  There is some truth to that because we are required to have parents fill it out.  However, if that survey was causing so much stress to the parent at the time then it is time to pick your battle.  Is it really worth upsetting a parent in order to get information?  My co-workers could have said something like, "That's alright. I understand that you do not want to fill this out so I will put it aside and here are the rest of the papers you need to fill out for your child.  Please let me know if you have any questions." 

This whole exchange was interesting and bothersome at the same time.  I get it that people can be difficult but if you are in a position where your business is children and families, then sometimes you have to find your happy place and figure out how you can resolve the situation.  I was bothered at how the parent approached my co-workers but I was more bothered by how my one co-worker decided to use racial slurs to talk about this parent while the parent was still in the building.  The incident I experienced this week helped me to realize how valuable relationships with people really are and not just people I know.  It is important to establish relationships with anyone you meet because the reality is you never know when you might encounter those same people again.  And the next time you encounter those people, wouldn't you like to be able to do that knowing you ended on a positive note from the previous encounter?  I know I would.

References

Laureate Education, Inc. (2011).  Microaggessions in Everyday Life.  (Course Media).  Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/